I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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