My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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