You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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