4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
