So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
