We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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