ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
