ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
