exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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