I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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