Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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