new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
