Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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