Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
