That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
