People with herpes should wear stickers.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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