I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
