why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
