I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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