Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
