Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
