girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
