is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
