On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Dear god my vagina.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
