I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
