Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
