eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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