i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
