I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
