paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
