I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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