I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
