Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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