Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
