Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
