The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
