We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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