His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
