ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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