Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
