I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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