He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
