you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
