Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
