Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
