i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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