How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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