walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
