she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
