I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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