There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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