He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think my vagina is haunted
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
