dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
