i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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