I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
