life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
