i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
