that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
