So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
