Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
