I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
