Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
