i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
