All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize